Degradation of cheese

While shopping for ingredients for an Italian dinner some weeks ago, I wanted to pick up some fresh cheese to top my pasta. The cheese I bought had this rather grating (pun intended) description:

“NUTTTY TSTE OF PARMIGIANO REGGIANO & THE SMOOTH TXTRE OF GOUDA CMBN TO MAKE THIS FNTSTC PARRANO CHSE. THIS COW’S MLK CHSE IS VRY VRSTLE. IT SLCS & MLTS ESLY. CAN BE USED IN A VRTY OF WAYS.”

That’s exactly what I found on the label. I don’t know what’s sadder: the fact that someone had the nerve to put this on a decent piece of cheese, or the fact that I even bought it and understood everything that was said in the description. I’m inclined to think the former. Anyway, never again, Ralphs’ cheese bar!

Cultural dyslexia

It’s astounding to see how many Americans are unable to pronounce ‘Chipotle’ correctly, even when they profess an addiction to it.

At work alone, there are about five people who insist that their favorite lunch spot is called ‘Chipoltay.’ I suppose it’s not as bad as ‘Chipotull.’

That’s it for now.

The Happening spoiler

First things first. If you haven’t seen it, if you’re debating whether or not you should see it, don’t. Or at least wait until you can get it on NetFlix. Harness the power of the free market to send Shyamalan a powerful message that unless he returns to form, his career is effectively done.

Shyamalan must have had the cameras rolling when he first screened an early version of this film. What else could have compelled the people flinging themselves off the rooftops and hanging themselves on trees, as made apparent in the commercials? A few minutes in, even I felt like grasping for whatever sharp implement was in reach so I could stick it in my throat. I know, it’s easy to throw insults without giving reasons. So here are the reasons for my ire:

1. Overacting
2. Shaky premise
3. False science
4. Misplaced evangelism
5. Cheap, irrelevant scares

I actually really want you to watch this so you know what I’m talking about, but please wait, so you don’t have to spend $10 on this travesty.

Prius is the new SUV

I suspect that a good number of Prius drivers on the road right now are recent hybrid converts who have decided to dump their SUVs.

Up until a few months ago, I had no occasion to be pissed at anyone driving a Prius. It’s an unobtrusive vehicle, its engine is weaker than a typical combustion engine, the drivers tend to be environmentally and socially conscious, and their driving habits reflected that mindset. But lately, Priuses seem more like projectile weapons. I’m not sure the hybrid engine is built for such rocketing acceleration and the kind of weaving that puts the industrial textile process to shame. I had only seen that kind of driving from sports cars, and you guessed it, SUVs.

With rising gas prices, I’m also seeing fewer big cars on the road. Problem is, people aren’t trading in their egos and impatience alongside their civilian tanks. One by one, these oversized physical obstructions may be disappearing, but the real danger, the mouth-breathing organism behind the wheel, is not.

I left my discontent heart in Santa Mesa

Santa Mesa – the first feature film by writer and director Ron Morales – follows Hector, a 12-year old Filipino-American boy from New Jersey who is forced to stay with his only living relative, his grandmother in the Philippines, after his mother dies in a fatal car accident.

This was the Filipino film my EIC jeeringly referenced in an earlier entry, the film that was part of the Asian Pacific Film Festival. As a slight break from the anonymity of this blog, I’d like to mention that I am a Filipino American, and as such I was excited to see that there were several Filipino submissions. Due to time constraints and our budget, we decided only to watch Santa Mesa since its synopsis sounded the most intriguing and palatable of the Filipino choices. Needless to say, I had very high expectations for this film and was fully prepared to support it.

The film began with a scuffed-up Hector lying on pavement and the sound of ambulance sirens filling the New Jersey air. The first thought that ran through my head: “Wait a minute, isn’t Hector supposed to be Filipino American?” He didn’t look like he was of Filipino descent, but I figured maybe he was just that good of an actor and his acting would redeem him.

Well, it didn’t. In no way could I have mistaken him for a Filipino American, or even a mixed Filipino American. I don’t want to sound like I’m attacking the actor for something he can’t change. Who I’m really attacking here is whoever casted him. Shame on you for thinking you could pass him off as a Filipino American. Sure, some people might be fooled, but anyone who has come into contact with just a handful of Filipinos in their lifetime would be able to tell the difference.

During the Q&A following the film, an audience member asked the director and one of the producers how they casted the part of Hector. They responded by saying they tried casting in the Philippines, but couldn’t find someone to approximate a good enough “American” accent, so they casted in the U.S. and found Jacob. Apparently when they saw him, there was no doubt about it – he was Hector.

How disappointing. There are PLENTY of REAL Filipino American kids in the U.S. who definitely have “American” accents and don’t know a lick of Tagalog. Now wouldn’t that have been a more convincing person to cast? Imagine if you will, a Filipino American kid with starkly Asian features in place of Shalov. Imagine him walking around Santa Mesa, almost looking as if he belonged there- until the moment he opens his mouth. Now that would’ve made for a more realistic, more captivating film.

Not to say that this alone would’ve saved the film. Despite the poor lead casting, Hector’s character in general really had no redeeming qualities. We were led to believe, through the synopsis found at the official movie Web site, that he would experience this great culture shock while mourning his mother’s death then eventually, after a series of eye-opening events, he’d grow to love the Philippines and find a sense of belonging. Even to this day, three weeks after seeing the movie, I’m pretty damn sure this is what the director THINKS happened. In actuality, though, Hector sought and befriended more “Westernized” people living in the Philippines, not really creating bonds with any true Filipino people, and in the end he still knew no Tagalog (he only entertained the idea of learning the language twice in the film) and basically grudgingly came to terms with living in PI because, hey, what say do you really have in where you live when you’re 12? Anyway, what sort of message were they trying to send viewers? That Filipinos living in the Philippines aren’t worth getting to know, but Non-Filipinos or mestizos living in the Philippines are?

I hate being long-winded, and there is so much more I’d like to say about this movie, but I will finish up with Q&A’s that should help you decide whether or not you should go see this film.

What was this movie about?

I don’t even think the director knew. There were too too many things going on in the film, and while that doesn’t necessarily constitute a poor film, the way they tried to weave everything together does.

Should we consider this a Filipino American film?

No, because I could not identify with it, seeing as how the lead could never pass for a Filipino American, and his character didn’t embody a typical Westernized Filipino American.

Should we consider this a Filipino film then since it took place in the Philippines?

Goodness no. Even our friend who happened to be born and raised in the Philippines could not identify with any aspect of this film.

What the heck is this film then?

I liken it to the television show Grey’s Anatomy: Impressionable people consider it a medical show, when all it really is is a drama (similar to Melrose Place) set in a hospital. Santa Mesa is a film set in the Philippines, and nothing more.

- Abigail A.

An incontinent truth

Global warming: these two loaded words elicit grim images of dark factories and their billowing smokestacks set against a fiery red sky. Some might instead think of the coronary-inducing picture of cars in gridlock on California highways. Few would say the term is evocative of a picture of cattle milling about, farting to contentment. But believe it or not, it is the meat industry that may be the single biggest contributor to the higher concentrations of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere responsible for rapid global climate change.

A vast herd of joyous cattle littering the landscape of a typical, beautiful factory farm.

LiveScience published an exceedingly cautious statement today, featured on Yahoo’s front page, extolling the practice of eschewing red meat in favor of poultry, fish, and God forbid, vegetables. According to their article, opting for one of these other food options may have a greater impact in the fight against climate change than eating locally does. Why is that?

Livestock of all kinds emit more greenhouse gases, mostly methane, than all our beloved forms of fossil-fueled transports combined. According to a report from Food and Agriculture Organization, cattle alone are responsible for 18% of greenhouse gases emissions. And with a population of about 1.5 billion, you can be sure that cows have a tremendous impact on ecosystems all around the world. Overgrazing, waste run-off, breeding of bacteria and viruses, misallocation of food — these are all problems inherent unbridled cattle farming, which itself is driven by an increasing demand for meat worldwide.

I find it infinitely amusing that opponents of ethanol fuel consistently argue that the use of corn for fuel will somehow have a harmful effect on the human food supply. Sure, when you consider that much of the corn we grow goes into cattle feed, and that a whole lot of it becomes high fructose corn syrup: one thing we surely don’t need more of. But dear reader, please don’t take this to mean that I support a large scale shift to ethanol. It is low on the list of plausible ways to sustain our energy needs (more accurately, wants) in the future.

Then there’s the issue of efficiency. In an economy so burdened by bottom line practices, how do we find it acceptable to feed 90 pounds of food a day to a cow for three years before it is slaughtered for about 500 or so pounds of meat? Because it is profitable — to someone. Just not to the vast majority of us. Millions die each year of hunger alone, and we continue feeding the cows while our fellow human beings perish.

This entry is actually one exception to the stated spirit of this blog. While we’re hesitant to broadcast many of our forthcoming criticisms publicly, I am not abashed in the least to advocate for environmental ethics. And I will now pass judgment: if you’re too selfish to do something as simple as limiting your red meat intake (the bare minimum basically), then shame. Shame on you. You’re not much better than the herd you eat. And don’t let any delusions about some special status as a human being convince you otherwise. For what makes a human being special is the capacity to choose. To make decisions like this.

– John A.

For our purposes, iron is as good as gold

We’ve just concluded an expensive weekend of moviegoing, sad to say, with mixed results. On Friday, we had the great fortune of watching Iron Man, which I have nothing but effusive praise for. Then our cinematic high had to be sullied by an ostensibly Filipino film that we saw as part of the Asian Pacific Film Festival in Los Angeles. Maybe we only have ourselves to blame; we went in sincerely hoping to like it and to offer our moral support for a Filipino (American) filmmaker. Not fulfilling those high expectations had a disastrous effect on our ultimate appraisal.

Iron Man, though. Wow. In some ways I feel as if I’m inflating the merits of this movie; it depends on how much you can credit the actors’ performances. I guess it’s really only the allocation of praise that’s up for debate. No doubt Jon Favreau did a great job, but I’m sure few will doubt that Robert Downey Jr. carried this movie. Quick-witted and suave, Downey’s Tony Stark, even as an outrageously rich and cavalier ladies’ man, remains a plausible character and brings a level of inexplicable realism to a superhero movie. And that’s one of the most difficult aims in properly making a movie based on a comic book. How do you preserve the fantastical elements while ensuring that your viewers take it seriously? Favreau and Downey proceeded wisely with Stark’s character development, abstaining from angst-ridden attempts at coming to terms with his newfound powers and responsibilities. Instead we are given pure kick assery from the very start.

Stark’s shop assistants, too, mere robotic arms, were incredibly humorous and bordered on adorable. They had a surprising amount of personality for what were essentially non-characters. And one of them a literal deus ex machina. Even more cute. There’s not much else that can be said to convey the achievements of this film without a direct viewing. A big chunk of it is a visual pleasure. As with all movies, you have to suspend disbelief. But I found myself readily able to take it all in without as much as a single scoff.

Favreau also did an excellent job of making the movie accessible as well, for my two co-moviegoers, who were previously unfamiliar with the character, got on board immediately, enjoying the whole experience as much as I did, if not more. All in all, it was a refreshing two hours and a polished re-imagining of a character who, while not as well known as the Batmans and Supermans of the world, is dear to a good number of us. And if you haven’t seen it yet, don’t leave until after the credits are done rolling.

Soon I will have the distinct pleasure of railing against the second film of the weekend. But don’t hold your breath. It’s not easy to enumerate all that’s wrong with it.

– John A.

headlining debut

Thanks for tuning in to a bash ed(itorial). Much more will be arriving at your digital doorstep in the coming weeks. Expect painful puns, winsome wordplay, and caustic criticisms. As well as some awkward alliteration and assonance. We look forward to infotaining you.

Please read our “About” page for more.

– John A., your friendly neighborhood editor-in-chief